What is the reason for the increase in illegitimate secret relationships among the youth?

  How do young people in our society today communicate in the name of love? Why are so many young people involved in unhealthy relationships rather than fulfilling their real responsibilities and getting an education?

The period of adolescence and youth is full of excitement, sometimes these excitements are accompanied by harmful anxiety and depression.

Research in the field has shown that young people make inappropriate decisions in their lives without thinking, and the consequences are tied to unfortunate events. If you ask most people who are in a relationship with the opposite sex called love, is your relationship healthy and will it end well? Most say that our friendship is different. While not only have they not been married, they are also often harmed in this way.


Nekhat Soltani is a student. She says about the story of her personal relationship with a boy: “In the beginning, I did not pay any attention to children. I was full. I got away from my family. My parents were always busy. Their wars were bothering me and I wished that my family would not leave. It made me take refuge in someone else. I felt like talking, maybe he’s a lonely person, he’s someone I can easily share my heart’s words with him, a few masses were exchanged between us, we were talking slowly, day and night, slowly, I felt the joy of life with him. I mean, we fell in love with someone other than him. I didn’t even think about him. I was honest with him, but he thought everything was a joke. He was not very serious about marriage. I was trying to make excuses, his behavior was getting harder day by day, I decided to separate but I couldn’t because “His absence is painful.”

 Hakim Amarkhail, a government employee: “May and Mitra have been in a relationship for 8 years. I promised that I would definitely marry him, but he was just having fun. At the same time, he was in a relationship with someone else. He paid more attention to material things. I had, but I was wrong because he only wanted money and wealth, not himself… “

 What is this issue through the eyes of the conscious?

 Sharafuddin Azimi is a psychologist on social issues

“Young people fall in love quickly and decide early on that all of this has led to an unsuccessful future,” he said, calling premarital relationships unfounded.

Mr. Azimi believes that the reason for young people’s attachment to the opposite sex is the lack of family skills and the quarrel between parents. He believes that all this has led young people to take refuge in outsiders.

 University professor Vahid Yousefi blames unemployment and lack of knowledge for the hidden relationships between young people. “Now our country is in dire need of intelligent youth, and if it was like acceptable social relations, then why should it be called a secret relationship?” He says.

It should have been obvious, but even here, even in the absence of families, secret relationships go very far, so it is certainly wrong.

 Mujib Yazdanparast (religious scholar): “When illegitimate relationships become prevalent among most of the youth of the society, life will be difficult for healthy and religious people and those who adhere to religion. In fact, such a society became infected with a disease that “It is very difficult or incurable to treat.”

In recent years, unusual friendships and associations before marriage have become very popular. Covert and unstable relationships with the opposite sex, which claim to be better known for getting married, cause a lot of problems for both parties, especially girls. When parents do not have a friendly and intimate relationship with their children, this feature is the first step towards hiding their children, so that the carelessness and carelessness of parents cause their children to distance themselves and attract friends and people who may not have the necessary qualifications for friendship.

The consequence of secret relationships!

 1- Excessive dependencies.

2- Depression

3- Illegal relationships

4- Deception

5- Suicide

6- Increasing celibacy

7- Lack of trust

8- Lack of attention to the progress of life

 Unusual relationships that are not within the framework of religious culture, since they take place with different, numerous and diverse people over time, cause such a person to have many problems in his future life; His life becomes cold and unlivable, and the family center, which should be a safe place for the comfort of men and women and their children, sometimes collapses or becomes a bitter, cold and tense environment.

 The reason for the secret relationship

 1- Lack of love for families

2- Economic poverty

3- Improper use of social sites

4- Pleasure

5- Unemployment

6- Sexual poverty

Poverty of science

  Young boys who receive emotional support from many of their parents and girls who talk to their mothers are less likely to have dangerous relationships with heterosexuals. A teenager who did not receive adequate responses to his or her emotional and physical needs as a child may quickly become involved in a relationship because he or she feels rejected by his or her heterosexual relationship to feel very close to his or her boyfriend or girlfriend. Is.

Also, lack of interest in starting a family, increasing the age of marriage, lack of love, need for empathy and expression of emotion, ignorance of oneself and the opposite sex, eyes and all eyes, etc., are among the factors influencing the increase in the tendency to emotional relationships between girls and boys It is in this era.


 Most people in the community agree;

1- Girl-boy relationship is a social problem. Relationships are abnormal and immature relationships that are formed from unrealistic emotions, fantasies, and dreams. Most of these relationships fail, meaning they do not end in marriage. So what will life be like after failure?

A wise person is one who ponders all these details more carefully and prevents himself from feeling.

2- Love: What has confused the young generation today is, on the one hand, living in an Islamic and traditional society, and on the other hand, the media, satellite, and the Internet, which introduce young people to other cultures. Some of their principles are different from the society in which they live. Love only works in foreign countries. Here, our people did not wake up enough to study the main meaning of love. What is going on is just lust …

 The solution!

 Love is an emotional and strange phenomenon that affects most people in the world. The society consists of different families that should be extremely careful in family education. Individuals in their families should be aware of some of the limitations and should consider respecting the rights and freedoms of others.

Researchers have said that at a young age, if families pay more attention to their children and remove small and large gaps, that is, expand love, respect, and trust, the children of the same family will never reach out to another person. The eye has no hope.


 Experience shows that a society in which prostitution is secretly practiced today is embracing the new generation. For the first time during puberty, affection and love usually begin with a glance. Thus, heterosexuality is natural in adolescence, and adolescents face a lot of pressure to have a relationship with a heterosexual. Many of them spend hours daydreaming about selfishness that they do not even know about, and treat this selfishness as love, while this lovelessness will not be a long-lasting feeling.

Love in today’s world is woven with deceit and deception. Young people who are more emotional are unaware of the future of life. Among them are young people who have been educated and have reached the maturity of thinking and the stage of choosing the right destiny of their lives, have a healthy relationship with a person who knows and loves, and gives meaning to it by getting married. We must be wise of this group of young people.

 Author: Freshta Mahbobi